The way a day begins, the way a year begins, the way your life begins; it does not mean that's how it has to end... the power is yours. All you have to do is own it.
My year began lonely, terrified, filled with self-loathing and on a downward spiral into a personal hell. But here I am, my first month in Thailand coming to an end as I prepare to leave for Malaysia tomorrow. For most people, a visit to a foreign country is just a nice vacation or a cool place to visit, but for me it's much more. Having made it all the way out here is a goal achieved that represents a personal story of perseverance and transcendence, a personal victory that has been many years in the making. I won't go into all the details of how I got here as my previous blog posts have covered some of that already but I will cover some of the things I've learned since I've been here, a short recap of the way my year began and the events that eventually led me here.
This year unfortunately began with me in a horrible situation as I was living in San Jose with an ex girlfriend & her mom, staying in a rat infested garage, abusing drugs, and paying $400 dollars a month rent just to be allowed to be the bait that kept my ex away from her mom. As if that weren't enough I was still helping to support two children who weren't my own and I still had to deal with a psychologically abusive woman who treated me as if we were still together. In short, this was my own personal hell.
As if my living arrangement weren't enough of a hell, I'd also been using drugs to escape from my personal dread and this was by far the worst decision I had made as it eventually led me into a situation that, believe it or not, almost got me killed. Now when I say almost I mean imminent death. I was anywhere from minutes to hours away from being disappeared permanently, but again, that's a story for another time.
Thanks to a certain someone who I shall not name, I had managed to escape the situation and was chauffered off into the mountains to stay with family who took care of me and helped to ween me off my addiction before sending me to Reno to stay with other family. This was because of some odd circumstances that seemed to follow me and had potentially put my family at risk. That and I was still recovering from psychological symptoms from my addiction that was causing unneeded stress for my family, one of whom who was dealing with their own health issues.
Now I'm not going to focus on the negative because that's not what this story is about. This is a story of how I pulled myself out of a bad situation and accomplished a goal I had been working on for years. This is a story of an average Joe who managed to overcome many obstacles and achieved liberation from his self torment. If I can do it, I know damn well anyone can. In fact, I personally had to get a name change just to get my passport which created more of an uphill battle than most have to deal with. But with that name change also came an actual and symbolic identity shift within myself. I have officially become someone else.
Now I'm sitting here in Thailand, sipping on a glass of scotch and wondering how I can be so blessed to be enjoying an extended vacation. In actuality, I work at an historic hotel in a national park so even work is a vacation, making my life right now a permanent vacation. So how did this become possible? Because of diligence, perseverance and mindfulness, that's how. Anyone can do it if you don't allow yourself to be a victim of your circumstances like I did for so long. Just keep your head up with a positive attitude, keep in mind all your goals and work diligently to accomplish them without being hard on yourself. Not stressing is key, just keep trying and trying until you achieve your goals.
I'll skip over the part where I work in a national park since that part is easy to achieve. Just go to your internet, pull up Google or Coolworks and start applying for jobs. The hardest part there is to be willing to change your situation and environment, willing to step outside your comfort zone. Once you apply, sit back and wait, then... bing, bang, boom... prepare to start a new life.
So what have I done since I've been in Thailand? What lessons did I learn here? Well, for one I learned that Americans are spoiled. We take simple things for granted like toilet paper, hot water and air conditioning. It might be cheaper to stay here but it's still a poor country and you have to deal with certain inconveniences and discomforts. In this way I've been spoiled as I have family here who were able to show me the ropes and offer me guidance while journeying and venturing out. But when I leave for Malaysia tomorrow all that is gone, the training wheels come off and I will have other lessons to learn and obstacles to overcome. But for now let me tell you a few things I wish I knew before coming here, even with all the research I did to prepare there were a couple things no one seemed to mention. Perhaps they thought it was common sense but as we all know, it isn't that common and I'm no exception.
The first, and in my opinion the most important, is about the internet access. I don't understand how I could have read dozens upon dozens of articles about backpacking and none of them mention how you will have zero internet access overseas without getting a SIM card first or using the wifi from businesses in your area. But about the SIM card, it needs to be compatible with your phone. Mine is a Motorola which apparently is non-existent in Thailand, meaning no SIM card works for my phone here. And about WiFi access: whenever you do find internet it's usually a 2G or 3G network making Google searches for hostels or any travel information very difficult to achieve. Also, most of the businesses require you to be a customer because they are password encrypted. If it weren't for my family letting me use their phone's mobile hotspot I would have been in dire straits. So if you plan on traveling, check with your phone carrier and ask them everything about using your phone overseas, unless you don't mind paying roaming charges.
Another obstacle I am still facing is accessing my bank via the Internet. For a lot of people this may not be as big an issue as it is for me because I have a prepaid bank card and I can't seem to access my account on the app to get my account and routing numbers in case someone wants to wire me money. For everyone else though, I think you're supposed to let your bank know that you're leaving the country or else you will have problems accessing your money overseas as well. Simple enough.
Okay, this one's easy. Get your currency exchanged either at your bank before you leave the country or at the airport before you try to find transportation to your destination. Some places charge you money for exchanging so I'd recommend doing it at your bank.
Monkeys. It doesn't matter how small or cute a monkey is, they will hurt you. I didn't have to learn this in any difficult way but watching a monkey that stands 2ft tall come at you is still intimidating. I don't care how tough you think you are, they will definitely hurt you as I've heard locals tell me time and time again. Which brings me to the last major thing you should know before traveling.
Download Google Translator and try to pick up on the language while you stay there and before you arrive . Playing charades with friends is fun but playing it with strangers while money is involved usually becomes a very expensive interaction. Mainly because people will take full advantage of the confusion and they will make a lot of money off you. You might be laughing but after you lose a lot of money over a language barrier you quickly begin picking up on the language. It's just good to do in general as the locals will be pleased and more willing to help you if you show enough interest in their culture, like learning to speak their language.
After a month overseas,mostly spending time alone and adventuring to every place I can make it to, or afford, I would say that everyone should try traveling. It's eye opening and humbling. The adventures you end up on will change you forever and the people you meet will help you see the world from a different point of view, a more holistic one. This has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life, even with all the discomfort, fear and awkwardness I encounter along the way. I'm now looking forward to Malaysia and all the fear and discomfort that comes without a support group like I had here. It can only mean growth since comfort is the enemy of growth and everything you could possibly want in life is on the other side of fear. Good luck to all of you. I wish you all the very best and I hope your life is filled with as much adventure as mine has had. Indeed, I hope it to be more adventureous and with less painful experiences than my own. But either way, live your life as fully as you can. Go out and chase your dreams because as far as I know, we only have one life to live, so make it worth it.
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